It's difficult to feel loved if you don't feel understood.

YOLO, right?

I only get one today to live, and it is my job to make the best of every moment. There are 24 hours in every day and every human is blessed with an equal opportunity to utilize that 24 hour period. As the clichéd Latin saying goes, carpe diem. That saying is quite dated. It gets it roots from a book of poems by Horace written around 23 BC. In modern times, the phrase has taken on a  bit of a hedonistic connotation, but I actually find the idea to be quite Biblical. The phrase has colloquially been trimmed down from "carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero", probably because, for one, Latin is a dead language and is no longer taught, and also because it's just a lot easier to say carpe diem.  The full phrase loosely translates to "seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the next day." The preceding lines in Horace's poem read "be wise, be truthful, strain the wine, and scale back your long hopes to a short period. While we speak, envious time will have fled." This is rich advice. Let's look at it in its entirety before I start to dissect it.

     be wise, be truthful, strain the wine, and scale back your long hopes
     to a short period. While we speak, envious time will have fled:
     seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the next day

Who doesn't want to be wise? Even most  fools want to be wise, they just don't take proper action to obtain wisdom.
Being truthful is always a best policy. Nobody can trust a liar.
Straining the wine is how you remove any impurities from the wine. I don't know much about oenology, but from what I gather,  this is an essential process before the wine becomes drinkable. The Latin translation, according to most  scholars, connotes that the sediments be removed so the wine could be immediately consumed. So, this is further hammering in the idea to be  prepared  to live out the current day.

Okay, so now we start getting into the more  relevant stuff. I am quite fond of the line "while we speak, envious time has fled." I saw a billboard the other day in Erie that read "hesitation kills more dreams that failure." Isn't that the truth? As a person who is constantly dreaming and constantly talking, I find that it is not a lack of substance or feasibility to my dreams that has killed them, rather, it has been thinking them over and debating the pros and cons while the opportunity passed me by. In no way do I feel that forming a habit of hasty decision making is advisable, but neither is waiting on ideal timing. While we spend precious time talking ourselves into or out of  decisions, time that can never be regained has passed. Both acting too slowly and acting too swiftly can prove dangerous, if not toxic, to productivity.

The advice of being wise and truthful both come in handy in regards to making decisions. We have to be wise enough to use discernment. We have to be wise enough to prioritize appropriately, otherwise we'll constantly be overwhelmed and never make the most of each day. We also have to be truthful, most importantly to ourselves. We have to ask ourselves what we value most. We have to ask ourselves what is truly motivating us. We have to honestly evaluate our fears. Are they realistic? Do they have substance? Or are the only teeth that they have teeth that we've given them in our own imaginations?  Being wise and truthful are of huge importance in our spiritual lives as well. If we're not wise and truthful with our walk with God, we end looking a lot like the hypocritical Pharisees. And ain't nobody got time for the Pharisees.

The next line is almost a line that could be taken straight from the book of James. Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in tomorrow. James 4:14 reminds us "You do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." That is so true. In my young life, I've seen people who acted as though they were going to live forever disappear from this life in a moment. One moment they were here, and just like the mist the book of James describes, they were gone.

It's important that we evaluate and reflect on our lives daily. We need to address issues that need to be addressed, because if we put them off, we may not have the opportunity to fix them tomorrow. Is there somebody that we need to forgive? Carpe diem it, man. Take the difficult step and let it go. Give your anger to God. Pray for them, and I guarantee that God will change you in the process.  Is there somebody that you need to ask forgiveness from? Don't put it off. They may reject your gesture. It may even seem to backfire on you, but you'll be able to know that you made your best effort to live in peace with everybody (Romans 12:18).

In your busyness, did you miss an opportunity to show love? Make up for it today. Commit right now to being a better spouse, a better sibling, a better parent, a better boss, a better friend. Make a choice to not to close your eyes to the basic opportunities God puts in front of you. It's easy to do it. It's easy to write them off.  Love big. Love like it might be your last chance to warms somebody's heart.

Have you stopped appreciating the beauty of life? Take a few minutes today to look at all the wonders that surround you. Get up early and watch the sunrise. Take a break from the craziness of life and watch the sunset. Take another break before you go to sleep to step outside and look up to the stars. You'll be amazed at how your perspective changes when you begin appreciating those every day things.

In the book Accept No Mediocre Life, David Foster portrays our 24 hour days this way:

     Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400, but carries over no
     balance from one day to the next and allows no cash-on-hand balance. Every evening you lose
     what you failed to use that day. What would you do? Draw out and spend every cent, every day, of
     course! Well, you have such a bank; its your time. Every morning God gives you 86,400 seconds.
     Every night you lose whatever you have failed to put to good use. It carries over no balance. It
    allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the records of the
    day before. If you fail to use the day's deposit, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no
    drawing against it tomorrow. You must live in the present on today's deposit. Invest it so that you
    will get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success...
     Time seems to be one of the things we don't get smart about until we are looking back in regret.
     To realize the value of one year, ask a student who has failed his finals and has to repeat the same
     class again next year. To realize the value of a month, as a mother who has given birth to a
     premature baby whose survival is touch and go. To realize the value of one week, ask the editor of
     a weekly newspaper whose deadlines are coming due at the same time. To realize the value of a
     day, ask a daily wage earner who has ten kids to feed and not a dime to waste. To realize the value
     of an hour, ask a love-struck girl who is waiting to be reunited with her beau at a train station after
     a long separation. To realize the value of a minute, ask the love-struck beau who missed the train
     on the way back to see his beloved. To realize the value of one second, ask a young woman
    who just missed a speeding car that ran a red light at the intersection she went through. To realize
    the value of a millisecond, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics instead of 
    the gold he had been training for all of his life....time waits  for no one. It cannot hold on, slow
    down, or back up. It is moving ahead without regard to your plans or priorities. it isn't against you
    or for you.

  
The artist drake has released a song called The Motto, which contains the phrase YOLO. I didn't know what that meant for the longest time, though I heard people saying it, singing it, and even saw it on T-shits.  It means You Only Live Once.  That song is wildly successful. It has sold over three million copies and has become a bit of an anthem for the young crowds (it has over 43 million youtube views). It's true that we only live once, and that's why it is so important that we don't use our time recklessly.  We all get the same amount of time in the day, but we don't all get the same amount of days. Hebrews 9:27 reminds us that "Man is destined to die once, and after that face judgment." Like the vanishing morning mist, so too are our lives. We have no guarantees for tomorrow. We have no guarantees that we'll make it to the next second in the 86,400 that today consists of. One day, we all die. And on that day, we will be judged. The good news is that we'll be judged by a God who judges everybody by the same standards, and that standard is whether or not we accepted and were transformed by Jesus Christ. I've known many people who said they'd get their affairs in order the next day, and for them the next day never came.

You only live once, so how are you going to live today? Are you going to live it selfishly or are you going to live it out like the gift that it is? Are you going to live it out like it is your very last day, focusing on what matters? Are you going to spend it as though the possibility of being judged by a Holy and just God is a reality? Because it is a reality, and once you take your last breath on earth, your time to make a decision to honor God is up. The You Only Live Once slogan is true to an extent, but it neglects the realities of the afterlife. There is an  eternity and we'll all end up there someday, and the only merits we'll be judged by is whether we chose to live for Jesus or something else. We can only truly seize the day when we choose to live for God. In comparison to heaven, everything else we spend our milliseconds on earth doing can never compare. As 1 Corinthians 7:31 tells us "Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away."  Think about that. Everything that we've ever cared about and loved on earth will perish. Even secular  science backs that up with the laws of thermodynamics - sooner or later everthing turns to poop.
1 John 2:17 put it all into perspective. "The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever." What is God's will? First He desires us to love and honor Him above all else. Then, His will is for us is to love everybody as He loves them. And lastly, His will is for us to  go and change the world by showcasing His love for mankind in tangible ways. At the end of every 86,400 seconds, that's really all that matters. Am I loving God, and I loving others, and out of that love am I helping to create authentic Jesus followers?

You only live once, at least on this earth. So how does the life you've been living look?

As Jesus was nearing the end of His time on earth, He told His disciples, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you (John 14:27)." It was not an offer. Jesus said that He gave it. We don't get a choice in the matter. When Jesus departed earth, He left  His Spirit to guide us, teach us, and mold us more into His image. Peace is also mentioned as a fruit of the Holy Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23. In other words, if we follow Jesus, Scripture says that having peace is not optional. If we follow Jesus, we are to be filled with the Spirit, and a byproduct of being filled with the Holy Spirit  is peace.

It is good practice to reflect on our lives and ask ourselves if we are at peace. Am I at peace with others? Are there people in my life that I have strife with (Colossians 3:13)? Are there unresolved conflicts that need my attention?  Am I harboring bitterness and unforgiveness in my heart (Mark 11:25)? If any of those are true, then I am not only at conflict with having the peace of the Spirit,  but I am actually interfering and hindering the work of God in my life. Matthew 5:9 says "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God."

Another question we must ask ourselves about peace is whether or not our own spirit is at peace. Am I content with where I am at and what I have or am I lusting after things of this world? Am I able to accept God's answers, or do I give Him a good spiritual pout when He doesn't cater to my requests?Am I acting in faith as I wait on God to answer my prayers or am I being anxious? Philippians 4:6-7 tells us "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Are we approaching God humbly, with a thankful heart? Are we praying for His will as we navigate the tough circumstances of life?  If not, that might explain why we don't have the kind of peace that goes far beyond our human understanding.

In John 15:8 Jesus tells us that when we bear fruit it shows the  world that we are His disciples and brings God glory. The whole purpose of my life is become more and more  a reflection of God and to bring Him glory.

If Jesus says that when we bear fruit it brings God glory, we better be filling our lives full of spiritual fertilizer so that we bear fruit in abundance. Read and apply God's Word. Live it out. Confess sin that is obstructing  the work of the Holy Sprit so that we can hear God speak to us. Go out and be filled with God's inner peace and live at peace with others.  The fruits of the Spirit work in tandem with one another, but peace is vital to them all.  If we're not at peace with God, we can't be at peace with ourselves or others, and we won't be able to show love and be filled with joy, kindness, gentleness and self control. 
 
As I walk this life, I am learning just how important peace really is. Life is simply no fun when we're not at peace. Every day I am learning to examine my life to search it for things that do not line up with the peace that Jesus promised, and when I do find something, I ask God for His strength and wisdom to deal with it. Dealing with it is not always easy. It's not always pretty. God always comes through, but that looks like me becoming less so that He may become more (John 3:30) That looks like me stepping aside so the Holy Spirit can help me identify areas that need God's intervention so that I can resemble Christ a little more every day. The only time that it is God's will for me to not be at peace is when I am living in opposition to Him, and when that's the case I'll do my best to make adjustments and be obedient. I desire for my life to be filled with a peace that surpasses understanding every moment that I have here on this earth. My moments on earth are too precious to willingly sacrifice the peace Christ guaranteed me for any reason.

Faith is nothing unless it is put to action. Many people claim they have faith, but have never shown any signs of it. Words are easy to speak and prove very little. Faith requires more than just words, it requires trust. It's simple to say that we believe but acting on that belief is a whole different ballgame. It's easy to say that we trust God, but often those words are hollow because when we are put to the test, we lose our trust in God's sovereign abilities. Trusting in God requires that we find ourselves in powerless situations. If we have control, we can't fully trust in God. Being powerless is where authentic faith is built. We learn to trust God after we've been through situations where we are completely powerless and all that we can do is place our trust in Him.  Don't be fooled - trusting God is in no way passive. Faith isn't learned by going to church or memorizing Bible verses, though those are both important components. We can say all the right things, participate in all the right services,  memorize all the right scripture, but none of that matters if we don't trust God.

I heard a story once. I'm not sure if it is true, or if it is just a fable, but it makes a great point. The story is about a military Officer  who was on a boat with his wife. The boat encountered a terrible storm and repeatedly came close to capsizing. The husband remained calm. He retreated to the corner and knelt down to pray. The wife frantically approached him and asked him how he could be so tranquil when they were possibly facing their deaths. The husband drew his sword, put it up to his wife and asked "Are you afraid of this?" Without a moments hesitation the wife answered "Of course not" to which the husband responded "And why not?"  Again, instantly the wife answered, "because you have control of it and I trust you. You love me and would never hurt me."  The husband responded " I know the One who controls the wind and the waves, and He loves and cares for us."  Is our faith strong enough to believe God loves us and is in control, even when reality seems otherwise? I know that I thought I did, and about four years ago, the truth became apparent when my life seemed to unravel.  I lost everything that I found security in. I lost my job. I lost my girlfriend. And because up until that point my faith had been mainly head knowledge, I even started to lose it.


Faith is tough. Faith requires surrendering situations  that have uncertain outcomes to God, and that uncertainty is the perfect breeding ground for fear. Harry Emerson Fosdick describes the contrast between fear and faith, and they are as different as night and day: "Fear imprisons, faith liberates; fear paralyzes, faith empowers; fear disheartens, faith encourages; fear sickens, faith heals." As we exercise our faith muscles, we begin to  trust God just like the husband on the boat. The more that we yield control to God, the more we can see Him change the unchangeable and do the unfathomable and the less we will fear the unknown.

Because building a genuine faith involves losing complete control, most of us run away from truly trusting God. If what I say abut faith is true, that the only real way to build it is to be in a situation where we are powerless to change it, then it makes sense why we'd try our hardest to avoid really trusting in God. Once we begin the habit of yielding control over  to the God who holds the universe in His hands, we'll never want control of our lives again. The sad thing is, most of us will spend our lives trying to avoid God placing us in positions where we have to trust Him.

I've been focusing a lot on reading Hebrews 11 and getting to know the characteristics of faith described there. What I see are stories of people who acted in obedience to God, even when that obedience made little sense. What I read about are people whose faith was bigger than their questions. I want the kind of faith that amidst troubles doesn't just believe God is going to do something, but believes that He already is doing something. I want the kind of faith that knows God is always at work and that the answer to my prayer is already orchestrated. I want the kind of faith that knows that even when God is silent, He is still actively working things out. I want the kind of faith that trusts God's timing is always perfect and best. I want the kind of faith that trusts God knows right where I am at and exactly what I need. I want the kind of faith that even when it seems ludicrous to believe, trusts God. I want the kind of faith that genuinely believes God is all that I need.

It is easy to get so focused on the things that we want that we miss out on God's plan. Sometimes, without even knowing it, we become oppositional to God because we're chasing after something more than we are seeking Him. Sometimes it is a goal, a relationship, or a ministry. Other times it is something less subtle , such a sin that we know is separating us from God and His perfect will. Either way, God is not ok with a heart that is not fully obedient to Him, whether that obedience makes earthly sense of not.

Last week after church I gave a farewell to one of the kindest girls around. She had a very comfortable job that she was amazing at, yet God began prompting her to put that all aside and follow Him to Greece to share His love with people who have been forced into sexual slavery. I don't know the ins and the outs of her journey. I don't know how much, if at all, she grappled with knowing for certain giving up her comfortable life and heading to Greece was God's plan. But what I do know is this, in the end, she choose to follow God in a radical way. Oh what faith.

Don't worry if you're not at that point yet though. Even the disciples struggled with knowing God's will, and they followed him around in the flesh and listened to Him speak. Check out what Jesus said to Peter in Matthew 16:23 when he tried arguing with Jesus's purpose - "Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, 'God forbid it, Lord! This shall never happen to You.' But He turned and said to Peter, 'Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God's interests, but man's.'"

What To Do When Life Feels Like a Blues Song

This world is ripe with troubles, anybody who says otherwise is not being realistic. Sometimes life just feels like a blues song. Turn on the TV and watch the locals news if you don't believe me. Shootings,  murders, drug busts, families torn apart, children being abused. It's all there, and it's all happening right in front of our noses. Now, transition into the national news and you'll see a broader picture, but one that still includes many, many troubles. Corrupt leaders, conflict and wars, mass shootings, child abductions, on and on it goes. For the most part, no news is good news, and I don't think that phrase  qualifies as a double entendre much any more. Really, it does seem that there is no news that is good news. And once the news gives us a breather from the bad news for a brief commercial break, we're reminded that we're too fat, we're going to die from high cholesterol, our bones are turning brittle from osteoporosis and our joints are inflamed with arthritis, and our sex lives have gone down the tubes from lack of blood flow and enlarged prostates.  Sandwiched in between the Big Pharma ads you'll often see ads of helpless starving children that could be educated, fed, clothed, given medical care, and shown God's love for just about one measly dollar per day.  Troubles are everywhere, and this station in history is not unique. Troubles have abounded since the fall of man. The consequences of sin are everywhere, and one does not have to do much searching to discover them.

Jesus warned  us about troubles. John 16:33 is  the antithesis of the pop culture, feel good Christianity that is corrupting the Gospel in America. If any verse is capable of shooting a cavernous hole into the pseudo biblical teachings of prosperity ministries, I'd say that the very words of Christ  do that. "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Pretty cut and dry. Jesus doesn't use words like might or possibly, he says that we will.

Now, troubles seem to come in a few forms. There are troubles that we bring upon ourselves, there are troubles that others bring upon us, and there are troubles that God allows for our own good and for the glory of His kingdom.

So when God is permitting trials to come our way, what is He doing? I mean, if He loved us, He wouldn't punish us or let us suffer, right?  Ever meet a parent who refused to be a parent? They see their role as being a buddy, and when it comes time to discipline, they don't have the courage to do so. Well, usually kids raised that way end up with a lot of struggles. They generally have a difficult time accepting responsibility and aren't fond of authority. A common word to describe people like that would be brat. God doesn't want us to be brats, and since He is God and He knows everything, He does discipline us, and He always does it for our benefit. Hebrews 12:7 instructs us to "endure hardship as discipline; God is treating [us] as sons." Sometimes trials are God's way of revealing character flaws to us and chipping away at them. The pressure of circumstances has a way of revealing what is genuinely inside of us, and usually what is inside is not pretty.

Over the past few years, God has used circumstances to mold me. There is no doubt that like a bratty child I resisted Him. I screamed and hollered and threw tantrums, but He would not relent. Like a good parent, He stood firm, and taught me a most valuable lesson - I am not God and I do not know everything. And when I forcibly resist Him because I allow my circumstances to plant a tiny seeds of doubt, my situation only worsens. 

God is good, and He is most faithful, even when we are not. I can speak testament to that. Even when my spirit was at battle with Him, God was slowly at work, using my hardened  heart to reveal to me areas that were not a reflection of Him. Once I took my focus off of God's truth and began looking at my trials, doubt started to creep in. I wondered how a good God could allow me to lose my job and girlfriend. I wondered how a good God could allow a friend in ministry to participate in me being swindled out of thousands of dollars while I was already suffering financially. At first, all of the wondering didn't lead to bitterness or confusion, but soon it did. As I asked God for answers, He seemed silent. In this silence is where He revealed to me my true character. I grew impatient. Why wasn't God giving me a new job or even the direction He wanted me to take my life in? Why wasn't God forcing Jamie onto a plane and back into my arms? And why wasn't God supernaturally placing enough conviction onto the hearts of those who wronged me that not only would they apologize for hurting a  swell guy like me, but they'd have a Zacchaeus moment and return my money four-fold.

Yeah, so none of  those scenarios played out quite like I tried to convince God they should, and I'm glad that they didn't. God could have granted me my desires. He could have bent His will to conform to mine, but that would not have forced me to examine myself the way that I needed to. If God had allowed me to be comfortable, and if God had given me what I wanted in my time and not His own, then  I would have missed the blessings that my not-so-ideal circumstance yielded. God grants a lot of room for our doubts, but as the God who measures the heart, He also is able to see past the things that we tend to be blind to. God knew that I had a character that was in much need of development, and He knew that I would fight Him during the painful process of building it up.

Here is the paradox - we all at once must surrender our lives to Christ, but that doesn't mean we get to become complacent, it just means that we learn to love and trust Him enough that we submit our wills to Him. It means that we commit to honoring Him with our entire lives, even when our lives seem like a shattered mess and we want to fix it all ourselves. We're going to mess it up, an that will be frustrating, but that is part of the beautiful process. At times we'll act when God wanted us to be still and let Him move. Other times, we'll be still when God opened a door and wanted us to seize the opportunity. This process will involve many spiritual bumps and bruises, but it's a requirement in developing an authentic and trust filled relationship with Him. To me, it is common sense to expect problems in life, which is why I was perplexed that for so long I missed out on the value of Jesus' words before he tells us to take heart during our trouble, " I am not alone for the Father is with me."  Does my relationship with God have that dynamic? Do I know Him so well that when trouble makes its way into my life my first response is knowing that my loving Father in heaven is right by my side? If I don't know Him like that, I have learned that it is quite easy to lose hope and allow emotions to squelch out His truth.  If I don't believe that God is with me during my struggles, it's hard to cling to truths such as "never will I leave you, never will I forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5). Truth like "All things work together for the glory of those who love the Lord (Romans 8:28). Truth like Jesus reminded us about in John 16:33, that even though life is full of tough times, life and everything in it is temporary and passing away, but He paved a way for everlasting life. That's the perspective that can help us to endure. That's the perspective that will save us from feeling helpless from aiding the broken people and situations in this mixed up world. That's the kind of faith that will help us to live in such an authentic way that at the end of our lives we can confidently say , "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith (2 Timothy 4:7). Jesus told us we'd have troubles so that we wouldn't develop a contrary point of view.  He wanted us to be aware of the pitfalls of life, and the toll sin has on humanity. But He also wanted us to be so rooted in Him that when faced with the harshness of life we could rest easy in the peace of knowing Him. Jesus illustrated our need for him in John 15:5 when he explains, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." In Him, our lives will bear much fruit, even when the world around us seems totally rotten. In Him, we can do all things (Philippians 4:13), but apart from Him, we can do nothing. For my stubborn soul, it took my heart going on a detour from Him to figure just how those Bible verses are. Turns out the Pharisee in me never even knew how far my heart had wandered from God. I looked real good on the outside, but I stopped guarding my heart and placed my faith in other things and had become nothing more than a whitewashed tomb. But true to His word, God never left me. True to His word, He is working all things together for His good. True to His word, He does treat me like a son and discipline me. True to His word, apart from Him I accomplish nothing that is of worth. I'm so grateful that I serve a loving and patient Father in heaven who knows just when I need a kick in the buttocks and when I need His arms to wrap around me and give me a hug. Even when He disciplines me,  He never fails to assure me that no matter how much I mess up, no matter how messy I get, He still loves me.

I'm amazed to see how I'm reacting to hurdles that not long ago would have left me shaking my fists at God until I was so exhausted I curled up into the fetal position in the corner and cried myself to sleep.  God is continually doing wonders in our lives, and often He is most exalted through our difficulties (2 Corinthians 12:9-11 ). One major lesson I have learned over the course of my last few years of being alive is that our reactions to difficulties are generally an accurate measurement of where we stand spiritually. My hearts desire is to know God so much that nothing hinders my walk with Him. I want to know Him so intimately, that though my world is shaking, I know He is right beside me.  I want to keep my eyes focused on Him, so that unlike Peter, when it's my time to walk on water I don't shift my focus from Christ onto the crashing waves and sink (Matthew 14:22-33).  I've sunk before and each and every time God has come to my rescue, but I'm doing all that I can do to learn from my past so that the next time the waves of life toss me around, my first reaction to is to know that as long as I keep my gaze on Christ He won't let me drown.

The Apostle Paul went through a lot of trials. In 2 Corinthians 11 he gives an exposition of the hardships that he endured. I often wonder when I read this if it ever crossed Paul's mind that he made a mistake by forsaking his status amongst the Jews. Here is a man who spent his life working to become a respected Jewish leader describing how he received 40 lashes minus one by the very people who used to laud him. And he received the 40 lashes minus one not just once, but five times. That had to hurt, and I'm sure that  in a fleeting moment the notion did cross his mind, but Paul was obviously determined to follow Christ no matter what, as he was also beaten with rods, stoned, shipwrecked, and chased by Jews, Gentiles, and bandits. Basically, Paul become a bit of an outlaw and was despised by a great deal of the population because of his faith. And after accepting this Jesus guy, nothing seemed to go right for Paul. But the keyword is seemed .

 I imagine Paul  questioning God's purpose and facing his doubts  as waves violently tossed his ship around the sea and as he felt his flesh torn by whips. Paul was one to freely speak his mind and I'm sure that he battled it out with God on a few occasions. I wonder exactly where Paul was and what he was enduring when he wrote Philippians 4:13? Was he in prison or was he being chased? Was he hungry and thirsty or well fed? Cold and naked?  On a ship en route to share the Gospel to masses of people or alone, sun-scorched, and shipwrecked on an island? I'm guessing that whatever circumstances surrounded him while writing it, that he reminded himself of it often. I'm assuming that as he was exposed to death time and time again, that he quoted " I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" to help keep his mind focused on Jesus and not his circumstances.

Here is the thing- there is a pattern in the Bible of God using trials, temptation, and time to prepare people for His purposes. Often in our human nature we want to run  quickly from any trial, but James 1:2-4 instructs us to "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." Romans 5:3-5 further drills in the concept that God uses trials for His glory and our benefit. "Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Notice there is a process- first we suffer and then we persevere through it. Then  character is built, and that character produces hope.

I don't think that Paul could have or would have written Philippians 3:8 if once he accepted Jesus his life became all comfy and cozy. He probably would have returned to being a sanctimonious religious leader. Like most of us, Paul needed to experience failures so that God might become more and he might become less. In our moments of weakness and need, we turn to God, and in those moments He is glorified and begins the spiritual process of transforming us. Through the spiritual, physical, and emotional hardships that Paul endured, God was able to speak to his heart and Paul was able to gain an eternal perspective that otherwise he would have missed. Paul's lifelong trials were instrumental in God building Paul's character. If Paul had not faced the temptation to desert God that he experienced by being persecuted, if Paul had not repeatedly experienced trials and tribulations, and if results were immediate and Paul didn't have to patiently wait on God and His timing, then Paul would have missed out on the many blessings that arose. Though it seemed like little was working out in Paul's favor, God was using every circumstance  for His glory and to make Paul more like Christ.

Paul could honestly say that nothing compared to Christ and that he considered everything of this world rubbish compared to knowing Jesus. The Greek word that Paul used was (cover your eyes if you're a prude) skubala. Skubala is the English equivalent of the word shit. Paul didn't use a euphemism. Knowing what a great orator he was, I'm certain that was intentional. Did he do it for shock value? I don't think so. I simply think that he chose a vulgar, foul word to make his point very clear.  What was his point? Nothing can stand in comparison to the glory of knowing Christ.  No amount of power, or title, or authority that he gave up competes with the truth that he found in Jesus. No amount of money and no storehouse of possessions could make him consider turning back to his old life. And as he explained in 2 Corinthians 11, not even the most atrocious treatment could make him denounce his Savior. Yeah, I guess when you're that radical for Christ, everything else does kind of look like crap.

Paul begins the book of Philippians by assuring us that the God who has began a good work in us will see it through to completion. Does that mean that we won't struggle to understand God's purpose during tough times? Not at all. Even Jesus cried out from the cross "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46).  When trials come, approach them confidently, knowing that you won't always be able to see what God is doing through them, but He has promised that for those who love Him, all things work together for their good (Romans 8:28).