God wants all of me. Every single bit of me. I'm a stubborn and strong willed person, so I find this difficult at times. I'm discovering I'm not so good with total submission, but that's what Jesus calls me to.He wants me to arrive at a place of complete surrender. Nothing less. It's not easy to let go of things—relationships, dreams, careers, lifestyles, past hurts,  but in the end the benefits are worth the cost. God wants the best for my life, and He knows exactly what that is. 

Scripture confidently declares that  God knows what He is doing, after all, He is God. In Jeremiah 29:11, we read: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. And Psalm 139:16 gives us the confidence that, "[God] saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."
I think I've learned, probably the hard way, that it cost far more to hold my life back from God than it does to completely hand it over as a beautiful act of worship. When I attempt to handle life on my terms, I set myself up for the consequences that  follow. When I try to run my own life, I am not allowing God to be  Master. I may be calling him Lord, but my actions do not line up with somebody who has relinquished control of their life. Paul gives us an example of this dualism in Romans 6:16:  "Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey--whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?"

I'm not sure why I struggle so much with giving control of my life over to the One who spoke everything into existence. Maybe it's driven in part by pride and fear. One thing I have figured out though- no life and no past mistakes, are beyond redemption. It might be a long hard road, but when we surrender our lives over to Him, God will always restore us with  His abounding grace and mercy.