Being Quick to Listen

I enjoy watching people. It is one of my favorite pastimes.

I generally glance at faces first. I like eyes, so I try to catch a glimpse of them, after all, eyes are the gateway to the soul. That's  not a Biblical statement, but it is a commonly used cliché, and as clichés go, I kind of like it. After the eyes, I  focus on their expression and try to imagine what kind of day they are having. Are they stressed?  Are they happy? Are they in love? Did their family dog just die? Next I  inevitably start filling in the blanks and create a mini story. I script out what kind of life they have lived.  I assign them an age and I examine their face for wrinkles. If wrinkles are there, I ponder if they were earned from intensive labor in the sun or too many hours relaxing at the beach?  Are they a product of years of smiling or maybe a little too much frowning?  Are the creases subtle or prominent? Is their skin  leathery and toughened from age or is soft and delicate?

 From the face, I generally glance down at their shoes. My pastor always said that you can tell a great deal about a person by their shoes. I have come to agree with that statement. You can tell whether they are a sporty type or an outdoorsy type. You can presume whether they are active and athletic. You can sometimes guess what profession they are in, or at least whether they are a professional. Shoe watching is a hobby to be mastered all in itself. If you don't think I am serious, start paying closer attention to people's shoes. Shoe watching is an amazing sociological adventure!

After I've grown bored, I will usually start talking with God about all of the people I just encountered. I will ask Him to move in their lives and draw them to Him. I'll pray for whatever unknown problems might be happening in their lives. Then I'll pray for their families

For a guy who truly enjoys people in just about every capacity and has a propensity to thoroughly analyze them, I have come to learn that I am not always a good listener. I have learned the hard way that one of the simplest methods to show somebody that you love them is to listen to them. I've been blessed to have some wonderful people who modeled  the skill of listening to me, such as my best friend Bryan. Bryan has sat in silence and listened to me intently for hours straight in some of my best as well as some of my worst moments. Honestly, I don't know if  I have ever just sat and actively listened to anybody for that length of time, and Bryan has done it over and over again for me. I know that he loves me for many reasons, but the fact that he makes the effort to listen to me anytime that I need to be heard ranks highly on those list of reasons.

I care about people, I really do. But I can't help but wonder how many people I have offended in my lifetime by being a poor listener?  The book of James tells us to be slow to speak and quick to listen. Some how I managed to get that formula backwards. My natural tendency is to talk much more than I listen.  Talking is not inherently bad, but it is poisonous when  it occurs when silence is necessary and a listening ear is actively being sought. When I care enough about a person to listen to them, I don't have to do anything to show them God's love besides to tame my tongue and to be available to sincerely hear them out.  Dean Rusk, a Former US Secretary of State is noted as having said, " One of the best ways to persuade anyone is with your ears - by listening to them." That statement doesn't just ring true in politics, it has a universal truth that proves true in most circumstances. In the  end of my life, if I want the reputation of being a man who overflowed with Christ's love. I know that I have a great deal of work to do, and one area in major need of adjustment is my listening habits.